Somewhere between here and there

I am struggling with where to begin – I am currently on a plane that is over the Atlantic Ocean that will then bring me to the lovely country of France, which I will soon call home. Hmm… let me take that in for a minute. Apparently osmosis doesn’t work through airplane pillows. It’s almost like my brain knows that going on a long plane ride must mean something extraordinary but beyond that I’m a nervous wreck, scared of the unknown. The flipside to this is that there are waves of energy that rush through me because I know that I don’t know anything – that is so exciting!

Having hardly any expectations besides knowing someone will be in the Nice airport to greet me is the first time in my life that I can remember living day by day. Yes there were times as I was preparing to leave when I thought, “this is the last time you will ever…” ending with things such as “do the laundry” or “fill up my car with gas.” But it got to a point where things were so specific (it’s embarrassingly minute!) that I had to let go. I began to take things into account, even the small things, but also live in the present moment. That is something that I’ve struggled with for oh, the last eighteen years of my life because I feel so programmed and so tied down with a load on my back on a straight path. So I let myself think differently; it’s not like I’m dying or being exiled, because that only happens in movies, duh. My decision to put on my big-girl pants, hike them up and keep on trudging with my pack on my back towards “life” was the best decision I have ever made.

You must be curious as to what actually has happened, although I think that the emotional part of leaving your parents, siblings, and friends for an entire year is a difficult thing to fathom but worth understanding. Here we go. The past week and a half have been filled with many goodbyes (which I turned into a hopeful “see you soon” bye) including some people whom I couldn’t seem to say goodbye to enough. There were moments where the only way to describe them is with a “woosh” where your body is elevated just over you and your friend or family member and you seem to be watching everything in slow motion. I am now proud to say that I am a professional mental photographer with a private gallery all to myself. Only until this last month or so did I have the slightest idea of what going through the motions of saying goodbye as an exchange student was really like. Aish, Mathilde, Felicia, my fellow 2012-2013 Rotary Youth Exchange members past and present, I now understand how it feels to miss something so greatly even though you don’t know when yet long for something so close but unknown. My thoughts go out to you.

I had the privilege to meet Diatou Gueye, my host sister now living in Northfield! She will be a fantastic addition to the community and I can’t wait to share stories with her. My attempt at a conversation in French was pretty successful (but I’ll have Diatou be the judge of that) except for the fact that I’d been saying her last name wrong the entire time and probably have a horrendous accent (DEE-AH-TOOO!).

It was difficult enough leaving my parents and sister at the airport, but when I forgot that my cellphone was in my pocket when I was standing in line to go through security and had to run back to my dad, it was the saddest, most cliché thing in the world but it was greatest thing to be hugged one last time, keep my head facing forward and meet up with the other American exchange students.

            Ingrid, Nicole, and I all made it through security fine, but Singer unfortunately had her tightly packed bags searched and a pat down. However, that was the only glitch and we were off to our gate. We ended up meeting a guy from Washington on his way to Charles de Gaulle airport in France who will actually be in the district next to mine!

            Now as I’m sitting here with a snoring Frenchman to my right and Singer on my left, I can’t help but realize how quickly this will all pass now that I’m on my way to my host country. The Frenchman chatted with us before the plane took off and always, always started out with, “Een, een, een your country…” and proceeded to make well-educated, yet crude notions about Americans. I tried not to take on the stereotypes he was matter-of-factly stating such as our poor eating habits, the maddening constant road speed changes, and that I had no idea what the map of France looked like, and discovered that I had experienced my first French “argument”. Little did I know that this easy conversation was the true French way of getting to know another person. You do not ask about the person’s job, lifestyle, or list of accomplishments but test their wit and opinions. I now realize that it is a much more genuine way of judging a person’s character by the way they back up their beliefs than how much proof they have that they are a worthy person – so American. Needless to say, he was an interesting character and I appreciated his company and insight.

            At about 2 AM your time (11 AM my time) I will be stepping off a plane thousands of miles away in Nice, France where I will then drive to my new home with my host family! I have imagined it many times in my head and knowing that tomorrow all of that will turn into complete falsities and something new will take its place is all the more exciting.

P.S. Heather, your gift was very much appreciated and when we skype I will have to show you some pretty hilarious things!!! Thank you J

Note: I wrote this on the plane and now had the chance to put it up. I’ll be writing about meeting my host family and some friends as soon as I take a nap – 26+ hours of no sleep is not doing me any good right now!